The death of a red state Indigenous queer

'Because all of us know someone like Nex in our lives.’

Vigil for Nex Benedict in Downtown Billings, Montana. Pic by Jenna Martin.

As details of Nex Benedict's last days came out, my initial reaction was, “God damn it to hell,” because I'd known theocratic, state-promoted anti-LGBTQ bullying drove a straight-A kid to suicide or lead to them possibly even being killed via manslaughter.

This was after I read Nex's guardian/grandma’s words, Sue Benedict, who said, “I said ‘you’ve got to be strong and look the other way, because these people don’t know who you are’. I didn’t know how bad it had gotten.”

Sue spoke of how Nex often came home from school, completely worn down and upset, and they'd listen to music for hours trying to wind down from what they put up with that day.

See, I literally thought that as I told some bully bigot off.

While disheartening, it wasn't surprising when Nex's unexplained death was finally ruled a suicide.

The mystery surrounding a nonbinary/2 Spirit was solved: they thought death was better than living as as a queer in a red state.

Nex, who used they/them and he/him pronouns, went to a high school described by a former student as, “It was your typical ‘99% white Christian and everyone else is excluded’ type of place.”

Confirmed: by the person 1 year ahead of them.

Many queer kids who commit suicide and fall under statistics, became more than a statistic after his death sparked a Department of Justice investigation regarding the neglecting of mandatory reports as well as just fucked up details like Nex was to be suspended 2 weeks for getting beat up by older girls.

The message seemed to be: Stand up to bullies!—but if you're queer and do it, we will punish you.

For Nex, it seemed a last straw to be singled out and suspended 2 weeks despite being a straight-A student.

Here's the thing, as the culture currently stands, whe Nex turned 18 and graduated in two years (if they didn't keep suspending him for being queer), being in a red state meant by default the bullying might arguably increase as ignorant people around you would call you a “groomer” and “pedophile” who wanted to have sex with children.

Nex knew this all too well when a favorite teacher of theirs, Tyler Wrynn, was forced to resign after being targeted by well-known stochastic terrorist of LGBTQ people and allies, Chaya Raichick.

In response to Wrynn being forced to resign, “Nex was very angry about it,” Sue Benedict said.

While Wrynn was forced to resign, all while Raichik—despite living in Oklahoma and having zero qualifications other than being an infamous bigot—was recently hired to serve on the state's Education Library Media Advisory Committee.

Make it make sense.

When I say “state-promoted anti-LGBTQ bullying drove a straight-A kid to suicide,” I mean Oklahoma has 54(!) anti-LGBTQ bills in their docket to look at.

I thought it was a typo when I first read that it seemed so cartoonishly ridonk.

But, as I always say, fascism is an accelerationist ideology and has to keep fueling its bigotry flames with more hatred fuel.

And this always means escalation. More dehuhumanization. More hate. More laws. More death.

Oklahoma lawmakers following in the goosesteps of Nazis.

When asked abour Nex's death and the state's"obsession" with being anti-LGBTQ, a State Senator said, "I represent a constituency that doesn’t want that filth in Oklahoma. … We are a religious state and we are going to fight it to keep that filth out of the state of Oklahoma because we are a Christian state. We are a moral state."

Then they tripled down on the statement.

pRotecTinG thE cHiLdReN.

While Oklahoma is known as one of the worst anti-LGBTQ states politically, in the light of Nex's death, I was also reminded how my state of Montana actually has a pro-LGBTQ bullying bill passed with argument and ‘reasoning’ of, “we are under no obligation to be kind to one another and students are under no obligation either.”

More of those pRotEcT tEh cHiLdReN conservative values on display.

Really?!

Or, hear me out and maybe this is a ‘hot take’ and controversial opinion in a ‘Christian’ red state,but: we as a society actually do have an obligation to teach our children to be kind to one another.

Something something Golden Rule and all.

Hot take: “Bullying kids is bad.”

Joey Swoll confirms: They need to do better. (And mind their own business.)

Dear Nex,

I am sorry we as a society let you down. I wish I could've given you a hug and say it sucks. I ain't gonna lie. I know it is exhausting and there's been times where I felt so alone wanted to sleep forever, and I even ended up in a psyche ward.

But we as a fellow Slipknot stan (siiiic!🤘) and red state queer who still oft feels alone and misunderstood, I get you—as do others, and we'll keep fighting these bigots in your memory.

Nex, with baby Zeus.

I aint gonna lie. When Nex turned 18, the bullying would likely increase living in a red state based on my vast experience of it happening to me all the time. They'd call them the worst things: a groomer and pedophile who wants to have sex with children.

But, to all you young people and those struggling, I offer this advice I noted to trans youth in Florida:

I know it’s hard af right now. Everything seems to go backwards to the point where even small victories almost seem pyrrhic, but remember, you are in the trenches, so carry that “fuck you” swag like those old Nazi resistance fighters, ya know?

French Antifascists in WWII.

There’s a rebellion manifesto quote from the Star Wars show Andor. It said, “Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. Remember that.”

When “woke” doesn’t die. “It appears that right-wing lawmakers who followed DeSantis off a cliff may have been the last ones to get the memo that Floridians are tired of this culture-war bullshit,” said Carlos Guillermo of Equality Florida.

Do not give up, and know you are valued.

Remember that.

I told everyone at a vigil for Nex, it hit me hard because whenever I saw their pic, it felt like a little brother had died, you know?

And others who spoke said similar things: That Nex totally reminded us someone we all knew.

‘Because all of us know someone like Nex in our lives.’

See you on the other side someday, lil bro, but for now I'll keep up the good fight for you and our siblings.

❤️ you and stay safe out there, fam.🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

Mourners honor Nex Benedict in Billings, Montana. Pic by Jenna Martin.